right, so i’m finally starting to feel like a human being again. if the last two days are any indication of what 2009 has in store, i’m a little bit terrified. after all there was a lot of madness and mayhem last year. 2008 started for me with a visit to my best friend in Tel Aviv.( Its crazy to think of what goes on there one year later from my visit….) .i then returned to the LDN, so i could run away from my then stable media career in kids tv to the totally unstable concept of becoming a documentary filmmaker. there was also the matter of reassesing/redefining my sexuality. this was somewhat related to a number of romantic affairs .which had a little bit to do with my decision to leave London and move to Berlin for “six months” so i…moved to berlin, learned to ride a bike again, took german classes for two months, the first month was fairly quiet until i encountered two dj’s, who drew me into Berlin night life, and for the next month, taught me to party to a level i never knew possible.
months later I was at my favourite monthly: broken hearts club, where I met a poet from california, and subsequentally found myelf writing a poem about how living in berlin felt like cheating on London. encouraged by poet, began writing poetry again. encouraged by performer friend in London, agreed to perform my poetry on her caberet night on my 30th birthday. Somehow in London, came up with the idea of an Alter Ego to use for my performance. Researched scene in Berlin to discover Lady GAby, who graciously offered me a slot at her next line up at Fuel. Performed at Fuel, and suprised myself and my friends with a solid debut. Finished a film about that bar that was not a bar. took it to stockholm for the once infamous swedish outlaw couple to see it. screened and curated a night of Short films from Berlin and London, to a packed crowd keen to know when the next event would be.
So how would 2008 end and 2009 begin? A little bit at a loss with nowhere to to stay. i wander oxford street new years eve day hoping andreas may somehow get a hold of a phone and let me know his whereabouts. i then give up and meet up with my friend nic and her boyfriend trevor at his house so i can get ready to go out. transformed with my silver dress and extra long fake lashes i get on a bus to tuffnel park. as i arrive at the pub where Salena Godden hosts her arty party, she spots me and asks if i’d like to read. at this moment I kind of don’t want to, but i don’t know how to say no. Andreas isn’t there. no one i know is there. i’m very much wishing i was Paula and not Sara.
i go to the mic and just feel very girly and small and nervous. i can hear the loud chatter of the bar next door. I stumble through “its time to detonate” feeling far too sober and certain i don’t quite have it memorized. and then i make it on to “could have should have did” and something happens. that curious moment when i can feel people smiling and resonating with what i’m saying. and then i relax. A few people come up to me after just to say they like what i’d done. and boys and girls smile at me who didn’t before. Andreas arrives around eleven and his presences makes me cheer up . but i’m feeling restless and sober, so i decide to move on to another party after midnight.
i go across town to aldgate east to meet up with my friend pierangelo at this warehouse party in this amazing flat five minutes away from brick lane. the trains are running all night and free as a new years eve special. walking into the tube, i’m wished happy new year by a group of indie boys walking past a big no drinking sign, they all carry large glasses of red wine. walking out onto whitechapel high street, i realise i have two ciggarettes left. a homeless man sitting outside the nearest off license wishes me happy new year. i give him my remaining smokes and he’s delighted. i buy another pack and a micro bottle of jack daniels. i drink half of it and give the rest to another homeless man a block up the road. as i walk off , i can hear the two homeless men commiserating about me, charmed by my alcohol and nicotine gifts. at the party there is a generous ammount of alcohol going around which i liberally partake of. I mix my drinks to creative affect. i avoid mixers and just go from spirit to spirit, rum, whiskey, vodka ending with several glasses of champagne. We have a great catch up chat, i’m really happy i’d crossed town to see him.
But its 5.30 am now, and i’m late for the WetYoursSelf new years day party. which is by far the highlight of my new years eve partying. super fun music.. i(i knew Cormac and Peter could rock it, but Jacob really blew my mind this time too) friendly crowd, much dancing in front of and behind the dj box. lots of flirting, lots of random kissing, drink tickets that kept coming, and other things. i think around 10 am Cormac asked if i was up to coming with him to the Trailer trash party at my much loved old local the Dolphin. to which i said emphatically yes, and left with him and another mate in a cab.
From this point it all goes a bit fuzzy. i remember putting my stuff behind the dj box with cormac and his mate saying did i want another drink, to which i said no, to which he said really to which i said - oh alright a tequila then” then Cormac looked at me and said with some seriousness, i think i’m going to play madonna, i think i’m going to play pop music….and this lethal combination of madonna references and tequila was too much for me. i don’t recall the details of how, but sometime after i passed out.
i wake up behind the dj box with the dj the lovely jonjo asking to get behing me to get his dj bag. cormac is getting his stuff to go as well. i suddenly really need to take off my fake lashes. and i really need to leave like now. i hear cormac say, thats your place to stay in berlin to someone. this guy i’d been flirting with earlier says “you lost your energy pretty quickly” i really really need to leave. its 1.30 pm. i see some shoes on a pair of pink stockinged legs. i’m sure they’re mine. i take them off and put them in my bag?
i walk across the street, get on a bus and call my friend nic. i really really realy need to have brunch with her like right that very second. so we meet up and eat and chat and then i take the train back to my parents. and hide in my room in recovery mode till like now. so again i wonder… what on earth does this year have in store?i was kind of hoping this year could be the quiet calm one. btw, did i mention that me, er paula, er paula and me, have been nominated for an award?
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog….
